Sunshine, Sprawl, and Saurians: Florida's Invasive Reptile Problem

It’s a tale as old as time, or at least as old as the suburban sprawl of Florida's Treasure Coast. The sun beats down on our manicured lawns, palm trees sway gently in the breeze, as an army of unwelcome reptiles march onto and crap on our driveways. We're talking, of course, about the invasive species that have made Florida their personal playground: the african Agamas, the massive Tegu lizards, and even the unassuming curly-tailed lizards who are not protected in Florida except by anti-cruelty laws.

Scientists and environmentalists will tell you that these critters, with their lack of natural predators, are wreaking havoc on our local ecosystems. They'll speak of the dwindling populations of our native species, the delicate balance of nature being tipped, and the long-term consequences. What's more, other invasive reptiles like the Argentine tegu and Cuban knight anole are preying on native lizards and their eggs, further impacting the populations of our native birds.

But for us homeowners, it's a much more personal and often absurd battle. We read the online forums and hear the whispers from our neighbors: "They say crushed egg shells, coffee grounds and cayenne pepper on the lawn works." So, armed with a bag of cheap grounds, eggshell remains and a spice shaker, we head out. We dutifully sprinkle the concoction across our driveways and garden beds, only to watch as a plump Agama lizard saunters by, pauses for a moment to soak up the sun, and seems to let out a silent, lizard chuckle. It's a frustrating, comical display of futility.

The Florida Lizard Invasion

Then, there's the more...aggressive approach. In a moment of madness, me grabbing a bottle of Pinesol and, with a maniacal gleam in my eye, charging at an unsuspecting lizard. Note to self, eye protection is essential for this tactic unless you want pine scented eyeballs. 😂!

The lizard, caught off guard by the citrusy assault, twitches and scurries away as if its very life depends on it. A small, fleeting victory in a war that seems endless.

As if to rub salt in the wound, these scaly squatters leave their calling cards everywhere. Driveways, pool decks and sun-baked rocks become canvases for their defiant droppings. With an unforgiving HOA who cares little for the reason our driveway is beginning to look like a rorschach test, it makes one wonder why they can't relieve themselves in the grass like the rest of God's creatures, however this writer has found some success spraying Pinesol on the driveway and bricks, and using it in the pressure washer as a deterrent.

The pooping behavior, you'll learn after a bitter online search, is both a statement of territory and a matter of comfort. They bask on the warmest surfaces to regulate their body temperature, and as they do, they leave behind what can only be described as miniature landmines of a white, chalky substance mixed with something... else. It's a proud territorial flag planted right on your property, a message that says, "I was here, and there's nothing you can do about it."

While our individual efforts can provide a momentary sense of catharsis, they are, in the grand scheme of things, about as effective as a screen door on a submarine. It's clear that the responsibility of a solution shouldn't fall squarely on the shoulders of the exasperated homeowner.

This is where the state and local authorities must step up. We need effective and affordable solutions for deterring, trapping, or, if necessary, culling these invasive populations. This could include educational campaigns, providing accessible and humane trapping devices, or even establishing organized removal programs. 

Furthermore, the long-term solution lies in re-establishing a natural balance to Florida's Invasive Reptile Problem. We should explore ideas for inserting more natural birds of prey, such as hawks and owls, into the ecosystem, giving these invaders the natural predators they so desperately lack. The battle against invasive species is a serious one, but perhaps a little bit of madcap humor is what we need to get through the day while we wait for a real solution.

However, for any of this to happen, our individual efforts, as futile as they may feel, are crucial. By reporting sightings to the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission (FWC) or other relevant agencies, we provide the data necessary for them to understand the scope and spread of the problem. This information is a critical first step in securing the funding and resources needed to create a meaningful, large-scale response.

There are several  options for reporting invasive species complaints in Florida. The primary reporting system is called IveGot1. It was developed by the University of Georgia's Center for Invasive Species and Ecosystem Health. 

I have a feeling if we reported every curly tailed bugger we see, it would have an impact and if enough residents report and complain, they’ll recognize the gravity of the situation. Here's how you can report an invasive species:

1. IveGot1 App - (This sounds like Pokemon for bored retirees but I like the idea!)

• Download the free IveGot1 app for iPhone and Android devices.

• Use the app to identify, photograph, map, and report sightings.

• The app is ideal for reporting lower-priority species like plants and smaller lizards. 

2. IveGot1 Website

• Visit IveGot1.org to access the web form.

• The form will prompt you for the necessary information, including a map to select the location.

• You'll need to create a free account to submit your report. 

3. FWC Invasive Species Hotline

For high-priority invasive species like snakes, monitor lizards, and tegus, call the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission's (FWC) Invasive Species Hotline at 888-IveGot1 (1-888-483-4681).

The hotline is staffed by live operators from 8 am to 5 pm, Monday through Friday, with a voicemail system for after-hours calls. Information to include in your report:

• Photograph: Provide a clear, high-resolution photo of the invasive species for easy identification.

• Location: Include precise GPS coordinates or a detailed description of the area where you observed the species.

• Date: Note the date when you sighted the invasive species.

Additional Information: Add any other details you believe are relevant to the report. 

Other ways to report

• Email: If you encounter issues attaching photos through the app or website, you can email them to ExoticReports@MyFWC.com.

• Florida Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services (FDACS): For concerns about Giant African Land Snails (GALS), contact the DPI Helpline at 1-888-397-1517 or DPIHelpline@fdacs.gov.

• South Florida Water Management District (SFWMD): For information about invasive plants and treatment schedules, call 1-800-423-1476 (FL only) or (352) 796-7211. 

An idyllic Florida ecosystem

By reporting invasive species, you are contributing to the effort to manage and control these threats to Florida's ecosystems. Your efforts can help prevent further spread and protect the state's natural resources.

Craig Strang-Thompson is a central Florida resident, content writer and owner/operator of EASICOMM, an IT Consulting firm based on the Treasure Coast, Florida offering B2B IT solutions locally, regionally and beyond. Schedule your appointment with us automatically at www.easicomm.com.